Neuroscience: Why receiving feedback is hard
Receiving feedback from colleagues is the key aspect of creating a feedback culture. When everyone in an organisation can receive feedback, it creates a culture of improvement and openness, and develops the compassion and empathy needed to give effective feedback. Thus creating even more opportunities for growth.
But it is not always easy. If you do not manage your limbic reactions, feedback may trigger you as much as it helps you. And if you find receiving feedback difficult, this might also add to your stress about giving feedback.
Let's explore why receiving feedback may be challenging for you.
When feedback triggers you
Not everyone is trained to give feedback consciously or graciously. In these - sometimes quite negative - situations, your limbic system will create a strong threat response.
When feedback is not delivered well, you might feel that the person giving it is attacking you, venting at you, mocking you, embarrassing you in front of others, or trying to problem solve at your expense. Your heart-rate goes up, you want to fight back or run away and overall, it feels awful.
In these situations, one or more of the Be SAFE and Certain elements is being threatened and you are experiencing a strong threat response. (If you need a refresher on the Be SAFE and Certain elements, watch the video.)
Feedback will not always come to you in a way that's easy to hear because the giver may be nervous, angry or trying to get their own needs met. But, if you are able to listen with openness and curiosity, you may get some really great information that changes the course of your life or opens up a blind spot.
