Neuroscience: Why giving feedback is hard
Even though many of us recognise that feedback can be extremely useful - even pivotal - in our careers, we do not always embrace the opportunity to give it. It is one type of conversation that many people avoid. Maybe you have tolerated some poor performance from others, only to be annoyed again and again when the unfortunate behaviour is repeated.
So where does this fear of feedback come from, and what else makes feedback so difficult?
Giving feedback: why it is difficult
Giving feedback - or even thinking about giving feedback - can create a threat response, making it very difficult to do. Watch this video to find out what happens in your brain when you think about giving feedback.
Reflecting on difficult(?) feedback:
Consider these. Do you notice any of these responses in your body?
- Heart racing
- Butterflies
- Desire to distract yourself
- None of these
Take notes for yourself.
Delivering feedback: the pitfalls
It is not just limbic reactions that prevent us from giving feedback. A study from the 1990s by Kluger & DeNisi showed that performance reviews and large-scale feedback initiatives did not improve results at 2 of 3 businesses that attempted to create a feedback culture.
Many people have experienced this lack of positive impact, or they may have personally experienced poor feedback. This could be a result of these common pitfalls when delivering feedback.
Implementing feedback models without care
Implementing feedback models without care
Implementing feedback models without care
Unfortunately many people try to follow the steps of a model without paying attention to their impact and how the information is being received (or not) by the other person.
When a model is not paired with care, empathy, and an emotional state that helps the feedback land with the receiver, it is useless.
Human biases and subjective criteria
Implementing feedback models without care
Implementing feedback models without care
Performance criteria is subjective and our brains find it difficult to evaluate these.
Our biases weigh in heavily and our PFC capacity will alter our thinking and ability to evaluate. If we are tired or distracted, it will be much more difficult.
With all of this going on, it’s a wonder that it works at all.
Discomfort in delivery
Receiving feedback is hard
Receiving feedback is hard
If you are uncomfortable and awkward in giving the feedback, then your discomfort will be conveyed and that can create doubt in the feedback receiver.
This is even more prevalent if you have to give feedback that you do not believe in because someone else asked you to give that feedback. If you do not believe it yourself, the receiver is likely to sense this and not believe it either.
Receiving feedback is hard
Receiving feedback is hard
Receiving feedback is hard
Listening is always a bit difficult, but it is even more so when receiving feedback. It takes effort to focus, hear what is being said and take things in that you do not want to hear.
Implementing feedback: how it works
Even if we are open to hearing feedback and we agree that something needs to change, it is still hard to make that change. Our brains simply prefer to keep doing things the way they are being done right now. Watch the video to find out more about why change is hard.
shooksvensen
Copyright © 2025 shooksvensen AS - All Rights Reserved.
This website uses cookies.
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.