Tool: The COIN model
The COIN model is useful for many kinds of feedback. You can use it to turn your complaints and criticisms into requests, or to give someone feedback if they have done something that you get triggered by.
Context
Observation
Observation
The first step is to describe the Context or setting in which the other person’s behaviour occurred.
Think of a specific time they used the behaviour you want them to change. Remember details about the time and place so you can share this with them. A very recent example will be better than one from long ago.
Avoid generalisations such as "You always...". Be specific.
Observation
Observation
Observation
Next, state what you Observed. It is important that this observation is not judgemental, nor an interpretation of what they did.
You might have observed that someone spoke with a loud voice – that is the observation and is the easiest thing for them to hear. If you assume they were angry, that is actually your interpretation and possibly n
Next, state what you Observed. It is important that this observation is not judgemental, nor an interpretation of what they did.
You might have observed that someone spoke with a loud voice – that is the observation and is the easiest thing for them to hear. If you assume they were angry, that is actually your interpretation and possibly not true. A raised voice is what you observed. Telling someone they raised their voice will be easier for them to hear than “you were angry.”
The purpose of this step is to help the person have a clear example to refer back to and a clear understanding of the behaviour they need to change.
Impact
Observation
Impact
Next, describe the Impact that their behaviour had.
Use “I” statements here to avoid blame or assumption. “I was upset” rather than, “you upset me”.
Helping the other person understand the impact of their actions will give them a reason – bigger than themselves - to change their behaviour.
Next
Observation
Impact
Suggest what could happen next time by making a request. What would you like them to do differently?
Either use your coaching skills to help the other person come up with another approach or, if you are clear about what you want them to do, it is more honest to make a request of them. What would help them in this situation the next time?
Before the conversation...
Desi returned from her lunch break to find the majority of her project team in a meeting together. Was she meant to be there, too? Confused, she checked her calendar. No invite. She opened one of her colleague's calendars and saw "Project X check in", arranged by Jason. The rest of the team were invited.
Desi took a deep breath and used the COIN model to prepare how to bring this up with Jason.
C: Context
"Jason, I'd like to have a quick chat about the check in meeting that happened earlier today."
O: Observation
"I saw the meeting taking place and took note of who was in there. The majority of the team were present, but myself and Joe weren't invited."
I: Impact
"I felt excluded from the team. I have also missed the opportunity to share some important customer feedback with the group which means the team will be less prepared for tomorrow's pitch."
N: Next
"I think it’s really important that I’m at those meetings, so please will you tell me about them in the future?"